HELL YEAH!

I finally did it! I am FREE! Well, in the next three weeks, anyway.


Still not sure if it's a smart move to make during this time but, what the hell, I need a drastic change damnit.

And life wouldn't be much fun without risks, yes?

Damn it.

Goddamnit, why do I have to bump into people whom I barely know but completely dislike on my crappiest day of the week? I look like a pale puggy with no neck and grandma hair.

Fuck.

Fast-forward

Holy crap, I've been here for nearly a year.

A WHOLE EFFING YEAR!!!

So yeah, I think now is a great time to move on, stop being so comfortable and get my ass outta here and back into the artsy-fartsy world.

This is not a very wise choice at the moment, but I'm still young, right? Right?!

I sure as hell hope this will work out fine.

Rabid

So this girl is incredibly fidgety it's driving everyone nuts. She couldn't sit still, she couldn't shut the hell up. She whines, she bitches, she's throwing fits, and she bites like a little rabid raccoon.

Holy shit, she's frothing at the mouth!

Don't you feel like it's your duty to help her? Shoot her in the head! But then again, she might just lunge at your throat. Or worse, around your groin area. Hey, that even sounds a tad hot.

For all you know, she's still running around in retarded circles, prowling for sweet, fresh meat. You might even be tempted to join her. She's know to lure unsuspecting fools into her bizarre, almost sexy world.

Lust over Love, bitches!

Unhealthy obsession

There is once a boy who has a very unhealthy obsession with platypusses. It might seem strange, but he fell madly in love with the unlikely mammal the first time he saw it on a late-night TV documentary. The elegant beak, the beady eyes, those flappy otter feet, the coarse hair, and oh! that fantastic beaver tail! How can he not be infatuated?

Sadly, the boy has never seen a real-life platypus. How he longs for it! His dreams are filled with twisting platypusses, frolicking in sparkling ponds, teasing him... The boy could not take it any longer. He decided that he has to see one, to hold one, or even better, to actually own a one. This ambition makes him dizzy with unreasonable desire.

He has to have one lovely platypus, damnit! By hook or by crook!

And off he goes to the local park. Slung over his pimpled back was a medium-sized sack.

Crouching low behind the bushes, the boy waits for the ducks to come out for their afternoon swim. Out they come, waddling and quacking away as they float gracefully on the pond's surface. Somehow, one unlucky duck ends up in the boy's sack.

With the duck safely in the sack, the boy hurries off to the nearby river where he manages to snag a very surprised beaver and a harmless baby otter.

Elated with his easy success, the boy runs back to his ratty little house as fast as his hairless legs could carry him. Ignoring the muffled animal sounds coming from the sack, he dumps it on his dinner table and goes to get the sharpest knife that he could find in his kitchen.

Duck beak. Check. Beaver tail and body. Check. Otter feet. Check.

Now all he needs is super strong glue and his dreams will come true. Somewhat.

The End.

What a bitch!

There's this one thing I don't get. Why is every girl claiming herself to be a bitch?

No, it does not make you cool, especially when you try to explain how "bitchy" you are by buying yourself a pair of new shoes instead of buying a fucking PS3 for your boyfriend. Or how you blocked your nagging ex from ALL your messengers. (gasp! what a bitch, she is!)

Look, it's OK if you're a boring, goody-two-shoes. Really. Nobody gives a rat's ass.

Don't feel bad if you are ugly.

The uglier you are, the more interesting you should be. You know, to compensate for the lack of beauty.

Of course, it's not your fault. Blame your god(s)/goddess(es).

Yes, everyone is superficial.